We all want to be strong leaders because strong leaders are good leaders.  Strength in a leader is not reflected when authority is flexed while the lay person is looking on.  Strong leadership depends on the ability to know when to be tough and when to be gentle.

When dealing with doctrinal issues, we need to be tough.  What I mean by tough is we need to be direct.  Leaders should never beat around the bush about core values, doctrines or principles from the Word of God.  When we hesitate to preach the Word as it is with love, we cheat the people from the potency of preaching that instills faith.   Often times, leaders divert from hard topics or controversial issues so that none are offended.   These leaders become soft in their teaching of core principles and doctrines and the boat is never rocked.

Jesus came and rocked the boat of many religious men and women.  He offended their condition with the truth.  Sin will always be offended by the truth.   Jesus never took a passive approach in his teaching when dealing with sin.  He was very direct and those who left had a clear understanding of what was taught, though they may not have liked it.

As leaders, we need to teach with direct communication, speaking to the lost or wayward conditions of the flock from the Word of God.   The reality of human nature is that we are hard-wired to receive this type of communication.  A child who’s parents never offend his wrong condition with the rod of discipline certainly will grow up never knowing boundaries or expectations.  The same is true with a group of followers.  If a leader never directly confronts hard issues or topics, the people will never know where the leaders stands, and will seek their own way.  Strong, loving, teaching is the cure.  A solid preaching/teaching of the truth on hard topics will set a congregation free to move within the boundaries of the Word.

The Out-of-Control Reaction

When there is no strong teaching, the people wander about finding their own path and sometimes their moral demise.  Intrinsically, they will violate principle of doctrine when there is not solid teaching.  Those leaders who are soft on teaching about hard issues will reap a congregation who cannot apply the principles of God’s Word to hard situations.

Often leaders who are not strong teachers of hard Biblical principles find themselves reacting to failures with a judgemental attitude because they feel things are out-of-control.    Then, there are those who are afraid to even confront the issues after the failure hoping it will go away.  As pastors and leaders we are responsible for the souls within our care.  Let us never neglect strong doctrine to help those who follow find their way.  A church living within the boundaries of good, solid, and even hard Biblical principles will cause others to see the errors of their ways.  There will be less need for swift judgment and more room for growth.

We are given the choice to deal with hard issues now or later.  We know certain situations are going to arise within the church because of our sinful nature.  It is better to deal with it now, than to wait.  Good doctrinal teaching is proactive.  Lack of good teaching on hard issues makes for a reactive leader.

Vision is not a one time event. It is a frequently planned occurrence. Vision in an of itself is not direction For there to be direction, vision must always coupled with a plan of action. Directions always have step-by-step plans to arrive at the destination. If people have a destination without a road map, they most likely will never arrive. We must not only know where we are going, but carefully and prayerfully plan the course of our footsteps to get there.

Vision, action, and direction are integral, however, without motivation the people will never move an inch. Motivation must accompany vision. This means we must properly prime the hearts of men to be filled with vision. Motivation cannot be manufactured with pep talks, but it must be birthed from the heart of the leader. A people that have the genuine confidence of their leader will become a great army. A people that are expected to accomplish tasks and arrive at destinations will become a mutinous camp. The morale of the people is vital to the vision and can only come when the heart of the people is intertwined with the heart of the leader.

Confidence in a people means that we believe in them and are willing to invest in their mistakes. If the people feel they have stopped growing and have reached their limit in the Kingdom, they will stop moving. Confidence is inspired when we remove glass ceilings. It means that we will allow them to grow into all that God wants them to be, not only what we see for them. We allow the Lord to speak to them and through them. True confidence comes when we are willing to raise people up that will do greater works than us. Confidence is the fertile soil where passion grows.

When a vision is accompanied by action, direction, motivation, confidence and passion, victory is the result. Casting vision takes work It means following up with strong relationships with those connected closest to the vision. A freshly communicated vision embraced by a people can only be sustained by nurturing and cultivating relationships. These relationships connect the heart of the people to the heart of the leader. The trust that is built will withstand any attack of the enemy. It will withstand the test of time and ultimately bring the people to their destination.

I put the matchbox car in my desk drawer and forgot about it until two weeks later. The lady approached me at church so I knelt down next to her. With tears in her eyes once again she spoke to me and said, “I hope you didn’t think my gift was stupid. I thought for sure the day I gave you that car was going to be my last day on earth. I didn’t have any money to get you a gift, nor did I have anything acceptable to give you, but I wanted you to have something to remember how much I love you and your wife.”

I started crying now. This matchbox car was now more than just a car. This diecast, flamed beauty represented an expression of genuine love that was not to be forgotten. It certainly was a sacrifice of pride to endow me with this wonderful treasure. I had misjudged this gift like the Pharisees and rich men judged the widow bringing her mite. Her gift was certainly more valuable than most gifts I had received in my life and I missed it.

Now, you couldn’t get me to part with my Hot Wheels ride. It is on my list of valuable possessions. It’s on my short list to take if there were ever a fire. It’s a constant reminder of an elder’s love for me. It’s a two-by-four to the head that tells me to stop taking everything at face value and appreciate simple expressions of love.

The days and months since the wedding have been wonderful? Every day I fall even more for this lady who has absolutely changed my life for the better. ? I know it will get even better from here I find new things about her every day that are like little treasures She truly completes me and I find myself learning so much about life from her She is God’s perfect gift to me.

Here are some of the great lessons I have learned (and am still learning) from Shanna:

1. Life is not worth stressing about
2. Organization is not a bad word
3. My perspective is not always right
4. Disagree, but never fight
5. Think before you speak
6. Love all puppies in the world
7. Find adventure every day
8. Be realistic
9. Talk radio isn’t the only station on the dial
10. Cleanliness is next to godliness

Finally, here are some of my favorite characteristics about Shanna:

1. Serves God faithfully
2. Loves me unconditionally
3. Takes time to notice the small things in life
4. Laughs at my jokes
5. Very creative
6. Compassionate and caring
7. Love animals and nature
8. Not afraid to get dirty
9. Simple and elegant – not materialistic
10. Witty

Shanna truly is my gift from God I love her with all my heart.

Sometimes we don’t hear the clankety clank of the coins falling to the tray The coins get jammed Life can seem like that sometimes We give and nothing happens because it’s all jammed up? This is followed by banging on the vending machine or just walking away in despair because there we’re all out of change Life has a way of getting jammed up.

There are other times everything seems to be working fine, but the unthinkable happens The spiral thing starts spinning inching our merchandise closer…closer…and right before it makes a cliff dive, it gets stuck This also is followed by vandalism Life has a way of being deceptive.

The last is the one I hate the most You put your money in and make your selection for a Coca Cola, and to your dismay, a Sams Club Root Beer, or a Diet Coke appears in the tray This also can cause violent reactions in people Life has a way of giving you a flavor you didn’t ask for.

Bottom line, life is not always fair There have been many a day life’s vending machine has eaten my change or given me the wrong flavor or dropped the bottom out of a deal Every day we encounter things that are not particularly pleasing to us What do we do? We can go into a rage and beat the tar out of the machine, or sit and cry about it, or keep trying and live life to its fullest.

Life’s idiosyncrasies can either make us or break us How do you handle life’s vending machine? I know what I do when the machine eats my change, I find the guy with the key to give me what I paid for. ? Who has the key to life’s vending machine? God of course.

Here I am making the confrontation, taking all the bullets, and once the shock and awe stops, I am left emotionally wrung out. The two parties “make up” and I think they are never going to be friends again after all the nastiness that was said in our meeting I facilitated. My personality stresses out over people being at odds with one another. For the next few days, I have a knot in my stomach because my leaders or saints are not being peaceable with one another. Little do I know it, that they have had each other over for dinner and are best of friends again, and guess who they didn’t inform….ME!

Then there are those who come to you “anonymously” and tell you a hard truth about someone, and they want you to confront that person without naming them as the source. When you go into the meeting, the person being confronted wants to know who told you these things and they become upset when you won’t name the source.? Things become sticky for you, and you lose trust with that leader or saint.

Frankly, I’m done taking the bullets for cowardly, passive people. The Bible gives us clear direction for this so we don’t find ourselves in these dreadful situations.? Matthew 18:15-17 describes the process of confrontation.? Simply put, if you have a problem with someone, go to them personally.? If they refuse to respond, then you get two or three witnesses from the church.? Finally, if they still don’t respond, you take them before the church.? The problem is, most people don’t get past step one. They want us to do it for them because they are scared to do it themselves.? As ministers and leaders we are not purposed to do everyone’s dirty work.?? Their dirty work is step one, our dirty work is steps two and three.

I submit that we do a grave disservice to people by taking up their responsibilities for them.? Confrontation is a part of the maturing process.? We never take the training wheels off if we never force people to confront each other.?? People will always rely on us to take care of what is most difficult if we never train them to handle problems Biblically.

My new mode of operation is that if people have not taken care of step one by confronting that person in private, I’m not willing to get involved in the situation yet. I’m done doing people’s dirty work.

In a sense I have not been moved to study segregation because I, personally am innocent of those crimes committed against those past generations. I love all races, and embrace all peoples of the world. However, I learned an important lesson the past couple of weeks. Embracing the person is good, but embracing their culture and history is even better. Taking time to learn where they came from and what brought us to this point deepens the bonds of respect and friendship between two parties. I have many black friends, but I have never taken the time to learn about their history until the past couple of weeks.

I spent hours searching YouTube finding footage from the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. I watched the MLK biography. I picked up a book from my shelf I had not read in years from the Lincoln era about Frederick Duglas and Harriet Jacobs. It moved me to tears that we are not so far removed from these terrible events. I never understood Black History Month. I thought it was racist. I sincerely thought if we had a Black History Month, we certainly should have a White History Month as well. That thinking was not out of hatred, but out of a sincere desire for equality between our colors. After this week, I have changed my mind.

This impacted me so much, I had to find out how my family handled segregation. It saddened me even more to find out that my family turned away black families from a hotel we owned 49 years ago. I certainly feel the shame of my heritage being actively involved in the segregation of America. I had one ancestor who shouted to the world that he hated “niggers” and Catholics. I wish those parts of my history were different. I wish my family had not participated in any shape or form in the segregation of America, but they did. I wish I could say that that my family members marched with the blacks in the non-violent protests like many whites did back then. The truth is, we didn’t support it.

I have grown up in an era that has been relatively free from the violence toward blacks that was seen half-a-decade ago. Today, though saddened at portions of my own history, I am driven to make right was what wrong, even though I did not participate. The way that I am righting the wrong is by embracing all people of all walks of life, along with their history and culture.

Martin Luther King Jr. has been added to my list of heroes. He was a Godly man who preached the true love of God to all men. He never incited hatred toward the white people, but insisted that they love those who hated them. This was a great example of loving your enemies that was taught by my greatest hero, Jesus Christ.

• Analyze the information.
  • Determine if your sources are credible
  • Gather information from other sources with opposing views or perspectives
  • Take a step back and breathe. Let the information percolate for a while.
  • If necessary, defer this step until you are rested or less emotional.
  • Look at both sides of the issue. Find the good in both sides, and equally, find the negative in both sides as well.
  • Determine how this information affects all parties involved. Reach to the extremities of the situation and look at every possible outcome.
  • Pray for God to give you guidance and wisdom.
• Apply your analysis.
  • Look to Scripture and find principles upon which to base your conclusions. Also cross reference stories that illustrate these principles.
  • Pray for a humble heart and for the words to speak to the situation.
  • Create a definitive plan of action on paper.
  • Based on your analysis, determine the proper setting in which you wish to handle the situation.
    • Public setting vs. Closed doors
    • One-on-one vs. Group meeting
    • Off-site vs. On-Campus
• Take Action.
  • Pray that God would help you speak the truth in love and err on the side of mercy.
  • Contact the involved parties with direct communication regarding time, place, and any preparations they need to make.
  • Be organized. Have an agenda for the meeting in front of you and stick to the topic.
  • Present both sides of the issue and allow both sides to give their perspective.
  • Humbly, but firmly present your assessment of the situation. People want to be spoken directly to. Do not beat around the bush. It is within human nature to desire honesty. Be plain and direct in your language.
  • Present your decision on the matter and a concrete plan of action.
  • Chart a path of accountability for resolution of the matter.
  • End with prayer and a time to begin restoration for the parties involved.
  • Follow-up on the issue. Meetings usually are not where problems are solved. They are the confrontation of an issue and where a plan is initiated to solve the problem. Resolution of the matter typically happens in the following days, weeks, or months depending on the severity of the issue. If it’s a major issue, you’re going to need some major follow-up. This includes phone calls, emails, meals (face time), and prayer support.

Dealing with tough issues takes energy and time, but it’s worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tears. Your proper handling of situations will strike a trust within your leadership that will weather even the toughest of times and circumstances. Don’t shrink back from these wonderful opportunities to solidify trust within your leadership. If you actively handle these situations properly, you will keep your leaders. If you passively ignore hard circumstances, you will do long-term damage to your leadership team and eventually lose some leaders.

The great part of staying connected with your leaders on a weekly basis is, when problems do arise, you don’t have to guess how to handle the situation, you’ve got all the info you need on how to handle them. Chances are, during your weekly connections, you can help them solve their problems before the truly ever get started. Leaders under you need a leader. They need to know where you are going, and where you want them to follow. This can only happen if you take time on purpose to sincerely connect with your leaders.

Here are a few ideas to connect with your leaders:

• Use your drive time to call or check up on one or two of your leaders.
• Send weekly text messages.
• Drop in to their workplace (if permissible) when you are in the area to say hello.
• Encourage them prior to their ministry endeavors by email, phone, or text message.
• Eat together. Wherever and whenever you is convenient for you. Just do it weekly with different leaders and make the rounds throughout the year.
• Take a few days off from the office and target individual leaders who need some touch-up TLC.

When connecting with your leaders, don’t let it become a duty, but be sincere and genuine. They will see it and appreciate it. Chances are there are family, financial, health, or emotional issues they will open up to you about if they feel you are being honest with them. The more you connect with them, the more they will connect with you. These connections don’t happen automatically, they are carefully crafted and calculated.

Don’t be a leader that just expects everyone to come to you with their problems. Be purposeful and take time to connect with the people who are most important to the operation. It is better to keep a healthy leadership staff, than to save the world and lose your leaders.

Then it hit me.? My blood, sweat, and tears of the past eight years were poured into the printed papers that lay on the ground before me.? The sum of my print career could be placed in one box.? I asked myself, “What else do I have to show for all this hard work?”? My mind raced from event to event trying to pull a meaningful experience that really, truly impacted my life, and sadly I couldn’t find one.? I remember in 2004 I lost an entire month of sleep doing all nighters.? The effects of those decisions are with me today as I have an enormous sleep debt I am still trying to pay off.? At the end of the day, all I have to show for all of this hard work is valuable knowledge, experience, some good life lessons, and a box of paper.

In the grand scheme of reality, all of these things are relatively meaningless.? The lesson I learned the most from my box of stuff is that we can pour ourselves into projects and events, but when they are finished, they don’t mean much.? How much time do we spend on projects that take away from family time, or even time with friends.? We develop designs, but sometimes designers don’t take time to develop relationships.? “The box” really won’t mean much on our death bed.? The people we love and the memories with them are what we will cherish.? It’s great to use our talents to provide for our families and help others succeed in business, but not at the expense of what is really important in life.

Lastly, I feel as though at times I allowed design to consume my life.? My self-worth became derived from accomplishment.? When one project was done, I had to go to the next one to feel good about myself because I wasn’t spending enough time with people.? Thank God for my wife who has helped change my life.? I am not addicted to event driven design anymore, but now I find my worth from meaningful times with God and family.? I actually go to bed and get much needed rest nowadays!? Overall, I enjoyed my tenure in print design.? So, I hope you can learn or be reminded from my experiences that design is inanimate, but the people who love you are living and breathing and want to spend time quality time with you.? At the end of your career, don’t be reduced to “the box.”